Mind in a Muddle

I don't know what to do. I've been waiting a month and a half to hear from my psychologist for another appointment. To the point I thought I'd been forgotten by them. In fact, I was planning on calling them tomorrow to find out what was going on. But today, they phoned and told me I had an appointment on Wednesday.

I'm no good with plan changes. It's Monday now and I like at least a week's notice so I can plan my week around it. It really sets off my OCD when my plans are changed. I can't deal with it. I totally panic. I'm supposed to be at my fiance's Tuesday to Thursday but the appointment is in the middle of that. So I'll have to go home on Wednesday and he is upset as well even though he's spent all week at my house.

They said I could phone the hospital to rearrange but I find it difficult to phone as well with my anxiety and OCD. Also, I've been waiting so long I don't know if I want to put it off again. I feel like I need to go because last time I heard from them they were talking about stopping my CBT and I'd rather get that discussion out the way because now the appointment is iminent I'm starting to stress out about it.

Also, my fiance complaining about how I'll be spending less time with him has set off my ROCD. Filling my head with all this stuff saying I don't want to spend more time with him or that I don't care or don't love him enough. I'm getting all these thoughts about how I hate plan changes and how I'm clearly not devoted enough to my relationship if I'll change plans to go to this appointment. And, originally I was supposed ot go to my fiance's today and go home on Wednesday then our plans were changed so now I have an appointment on Wednesday my OCD is telling me that I want this because it keeps my plans almost like they were.

I just don't know what to do or how I feel.... What's real and what's OCD...