Day 17 - OCD compulsions

I realised today that I haven't spoken about compulsions much on here. All I've really talked about is my obsessions.

It dawned on me today only because while I do a lot of compulsions without even realising I hadn't spoken about them. My laptop broke yesterday and it brought a lot of my usual coping mechanisms to light. I distract myself with games and the internet and typing things up for myself and talking on Skype or Facebook. Even typing on here distracts me. But as soon as it broke it was like all my obsessions and paranoias were set loose. There was nothing to hold them back. I had to sit for hours doing Kriss-Kross puzzles to try in vain to distract myself.

People use all sorts of things as compulsions. My laptop was a big part of my coping strategy (unhealthy as it may be for my mental wellbeing) but I also have others. To wash my hands every time they feel damp or sticky. To arrange all my books, games and DVDs first by Age Rating then alphabetically within it. To play city-builder games just so I can arrange things there as well. To run my fingers through my hair till every tug is out of it. To plan out my days and clothes and stuff in my head. To check I've taken pills or turned off lights or shut doors or that there are no spiders in the room. To scratch my head till the skin on my scalp flakes off or to chew the skin off my lips.

There are others but those are the ones I could think of off the top of my head. Compulsions are a way to make obsessions feel better but they are often detrimental to the person mentally and sometimes physically. If they aren't carried out they can also cause even more stress until the person carries them out. So whilst they do provide initial and immediate relief they aren't long lasting solutions, they're effectiveness can wear off and they are not any kind of treatment for obsessions.