Contamination Obsessions are one of, if not the most, common type of obsession. They centre around the idea that touching something or being near something could in some way contaminate you.
I get this one a lot. It was my first major obsession as far as I can remember. I first got it when I was about 7. My class at school were doing an experiment on germ growth by rubbing our hands on bread and leaving it for a few days. When mould grew on it they told us that the germs on our hands had caused the mould to grow. This set me off for the first time in my little life. I was sure that there were millions of dangerous germs on my hands that were going to kill me and I washed and washed my hands till my skin peeled off and I had to be taken to a doctor for all sorts of steroid and hydrocortizone creams.
Usually for me though this is the obsession that gets set off when I have stress but no other major obsession. It seems to be the first place my OCD runs to when it is feeling a little aimless. Recently, I've been getting it more and more because my obsessions change so frequently but my stress level doesn't. So in between major panics there is this constant cycle of everything I touch means I need to wash my hands.
Touch the dog... wash my hands. Touch a damp surface... wash my hands. Touch food... wash my hands. Wash dishes... wash my hands. Put clothes in the washing machine... wash my hands. Shower... wash my hands.
My skin is getting so dry and cracked and it doesn't even make my OCD feel very reassured. It is almost totally ungratifying. The other day I got pen on my hands and then couldn't settle till I had washed my hands. It's getting just silly.
Showing posts with label hand washing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hand washing. Show all posts
Wednesday, 27 February 2013
Saturday, 26 January 2013
Day 17 - OCD compulsions
I realised today that I haven't spoken about compulsions much on here. All I've really talked about is my obsessions.
It dawned on me today only because while I do a lot of compulsions without even realising I hadn't spoken about them. My laptop broke yesterday and it brought a lot of my usual coping mechanisms to light. I distract myself with games and the internet and typing things up for myself and talking on Skype or Facebook. Even typing on here distracts me. But as soon as it broke it was like all my obsessions and paranoias were set loose. There was nothing to hold them back. I had to sit for hours doing Kriss-Kross puzzles to try in vain to distract myself.
People use all sorts of things as compulsions. My laptop was a big part of my coping strategy (unhealthy as it may be for my mental wellbeing) but I also have others. To wash my hands every time they feel damp or sticky. To arrange all my books, games and DVDs first by Age Rating then alphabetically within it. To play city-builder games just so I can arrange things there as well. To run my fingers through my hair till every tug is out of it. To plan out my days and clothes and stuff in my head. To check I've taken pills or turned off lights or shut doors or that there are no spiders in the room. To scratch my head till the skin on my scalp flakes off or to chew the skin off my lips.
There are others but those are the ones I could think of off the top of my head. Compulsions are a way to make obsessions feel better but they are often detrimental to the person mentally and sometimes physically. If they aren't carried out they can also cause even more stress until the person carries them out. So whilst they do provide initial and immediate relief they aren't long lasting solutions, they're effectiveness can wear off and they are not any kind of treatment for obsessions.
It dawned on me today only because while I do a lot of compulsions without even realising I hadn't spoken about them. My laptop broke yesterday and it brought a lot of my usual coping mechanisms to light. I distract myself with games and the internet and typing things up for myself and talking on Skype or Facebook. Even typing on here distracts me. But as soon as it broke it was like all my obsessions and paranoias were set loose. There was nothing to hold them back. I had to sit for hours doing Kriss-Kross puzzles to try in vain to distract myself.
People use all sorts of things as compulsions. My laptop was a big part of my coping strategy (unhealthy as it may be for my mental wellbeing) but I also have others. To wash my hands every time they feel damp or sticky. To arrange all my books, games and DVDs first by Age Rating then alphabetically within it. To play city-builder games just so I can arrange things there as well. To run my fingers through my hair till every tug is out of it. To plan out my days and clothes and stuff in my head. To check I've taken pills or turned off lights or shut doors or that there are no spiders in the room. To scratch my head till the skin on my scalp flakes off or to chew the skin off my lips.
There are others but those are the ones I could think of off the top of my head. Compulsions are a way to make obsessions feel better but they are often detrimental to the person mentally and sometimes physically. If they aren't carried out they can also cause even more stress until the person carries them out. So whilst they do provide initial and immediate relief they aren't long lasting solutions, they're effectiveness can wear off and they are not any kind of treatment for obsessions.
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