It's just going from bad to worse

I can't even get out of bed. I can't do anything or think about anything or cocentrate on anything.

Apparently, me having a blog is the problem, not anything I may have said about peopoe. How do I even go forward from that? My blog feels tainted now. Like I'm being watched by her and judged and dictated to.

Am I not supposed to have a place to talk freely? Can I not have somewhere to just talk? Because I'm certainly not getting it from my psych and it can be hard only having my fiance understand properly. Talking with my family can only go so far and I made this blog because I needed somewhere that was mine to fill with my feelings. I could use forums but they just aren't the same. Forums make you keep looking to see if you have had any responses and can, I've noticed, become addictive. Here I can vent and then leave for a bit and come back and  post again. Is that so wrong of me really?

I just feel awful. Nothing is ever going to get better now because I still can't get her to talk to me about her issues with me and she'll probably read this and go off again but I can't not post at alo because it vents my feelings.