I've always been a perfectionist but I never thought it was quite OCD worthy when I was younger. Recently I've realised it really is.
It's my birthday in a couple of weeks and every year I get asked to write a list of things I want. Not that I'll get all of it obviously, so that people can choose something I want without me knowing exactly what I'm going to get. And because I like planning and writing lists I always lay them out in sections and stuff.
But this year I've made a mistake. I wrote two blu-rays on to the list that have multiple versions and I'm scared that people will buy the wrong thing because of my mistake. My Mum told me today she's ordered stuff off my list and that if she didn't order the right thing I've just to send it back to Amazon and get credit for it and get the version I want. But it keeps playing on my OCD now that I've done something wrong and that me getting it wrong will end up upsetting others.
Mum told me not to worry about it but I can't help it. I feel like I'll upset her. I feel like I've made a terrible mistake that will make her feel shitty for getting the wrong thing but it was my fault in the first place. I can't stop obsessing and panicking about it.
We are alike. I feel for you.
ReplyDeleteJust don't look at it as a mistake but an experience.just think how lucky you are to have the option to make it better if you want.life is a series of lessons and choices.be happy you have a choicr
ReplyDeleteHun, I'm sure everything will be fine, but I know it's hard for someone w/ OCD to just "get over" it. I know the disease all too well. My sister has it and I see how it rules her life. I feel for you hun. Try to take some relaxing breaths and just TRY to convince yourself that everything will work out. SMILE Chica. :-)
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