It is not surprising that obsessive compulsive disorder sufferers also suffer from frequent bouts of depression.
The amount of stress, anxiety and worrying that goes on inside an OCD sufferers head just all piles up. I have had a few really bad days. Between scary GP statements and various obsessions, lack of sleep and loneliness from being away from my fiance it's just all gotten very heavy. I spent hours last night reassurance seeking from him about my HOCD and even today those worries have not really gone away.
However, today there is a feeling of blankness that joins my worrying. The state of mind where I feel like nothing really matters. Where my brain feels like it has just given up. It's not a feeling of sadness or despair as such. More a feeling of loss and pointlessness. Like there is just nothing there. My worries are still there but the anxiety feels muted.
This is common for OCD sufferers. When they have spent so long intensely worrying about things that nothing seems to matter anymore. I still wonder if I might be a lesbian on totally foundless evidence and even though my fiance assures me that if I was he would have noticed by now. But today it's like I desperately don't want to be but my emotions are past caring. In a way, I'd rather be tearful and scared that feel like I'm so low I don't care. The fear is more comforting to my obsessions.
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