I know I haven't posted in a few days but I have been so down and depressed that I didn't feel able to type anything.
I feel a little better today but I'm still really tetchy and on edge. I felt really good after my psychologists appointment on Wednesday. I was all hopeful and happy about how they were planning to treat me. I mean, I know it'll be hard but I'm glad they're going to take it slow and steady with me and make sure I'm happy with it and not just throw it all at me.
Then, the next day I got into an argument with my fiance and I've been completely depressed and ROCD since. I can't shake it at all. I feel useless and worthless and like I should sit in a room all alone till I die.
I've had this kind of thing before. Like I fall off a precipice with my OCD and suddenly I feel totally socially unacceptable. I feel like I'm not able to speak to anyone outside of my family. Like everything is wrong and I can't bear it.
I've been feeling totally overwhelmed, embarassed by everything, touchy and argumentative. And I feel like I don't deserve a relationship. Like I should be left all alone forever and it would serve me right for being such a terrible person.
And this is how I feel now I feel a bit BETTER. But at least I do feel a bit better. Tomorrow might be better still.
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