OCD sufferers are constantly on the hunt for reassurance and an escape from their obsessions. Non-OCD people just don't understand the relief the sufferers feel when they find something reassuring.
I think the only even vaguely suitable way to describe it is that it's like being on drugs. You have gone cold turkey for weeks and the withdrawal is so bad you're sick to your stomach. Then you finally get your hit. You feel fantastic. Amazing. Like nothing in the world can stop you. Then while you are on your high you think to yourself, "This was the last time. I just needed this one time to give in and now I'll be better. It'll all be better now". And you are better. For a while. Then you aren't again. Then you go out on the hunt for your next hit. And the whole thing starts up all over again.
OCD makes the brain feel like it is hooked on reassurance. It uses it like it's own personal little heroin dose. And it is almost as detrimental to a sufferer's health. Just in different ways. Reassurance may not kill you but you get hooked on searching for it and the more hits you need to take the further away you are from moving on from the obsession you are reassuring.
That feeling is even better. The feeling of when you are done with one obsession. And yes, most sufferers move almost immediately onto something else but they still get that immediate rush when one obsession leaves them alone. That high that you let's you know that it is gone.
I got that today. I have tonnes of other obsessions along side each other but I got my laptop this morning. It may not seem like much but not having a laptop to help distract me was awful. I felt a constant withdrawal and now I have my new one I feel so relieved. Like nothing could really bring me down today. Like despite knowing my other obsessions are still there to haunt me that the high of getting my new laptop is making them silent for now.
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