My life seems to currently be a constant stream of appointments strung together with stress. Another Doctor's appointment today to get yet another note for the Benefit's Office.
To be honest I don't know why they don't just give me one that will last a few months. I've not even started my treatment yet so I'm unlikely to be well enough to go to work or college for a while yet. If anything I am getting worse and not better and this relentless list of appointments isn't helping at all.
And to top it off, every time I go to one of my many appointments they ask me what I'm planning on doing once I'm better and when I'm planning on doing it. Like my being mentally ill should have an expiration date. Or like I should pick a date to stop being a burden to society.
I feel constantly pushed even though most people probably aren't trying to push me at all. The stress is making me paranoid.
At least the doctor I saw this time was nice about it though. Last time she told me that I'd have to go back to work whether I was feeling worse or not. Basically "Go commit suicide in an office so long as your not cluttering up my books". But this time he was sympathetic and nice about it. Although he hasn't seen my notes from the psychologist yet so he thinks that my problem is like stress and anxiety over going out to get a job. Rather than OCD which stops me from holding down a job. But still, it was nice to have someone be kind of understanding about it all.
On the bright side a little I suppose though, The stress of having the appointment distracted my brain from my other obsessions for most of the day.
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